Mistress Peony: Discernment

March 20th, 2002

Discernment Transcript

Good Evening.  You all carry on with such determination.  You have such a willingness to serve others, to be the filter and to serve others.

And we know this is a big issue for so many.  You must increase your ability to feel tangibly in your energy field the toll that things take upon you. 

Now, these are the things of your lives, the other people who make requirements of you.  Always making choices about your own survival.  And to this I have to add that your culture takes a great toll on you.  

The myth is that it is such a good place, such a rich country, and yet your culture takes a terribly big toll on you.  Other cultures who are more primitive have more support for one another on a daily basis.  And you find yourselves terribly alone a great deal of the time. 

We are aware that one of the pressures on you is to look at world events, and to know what is happening, to have some sense of it.  And yet to provide enough boundary and protection for yourself.  

And you have not been taught to treat yourself as if you are sacred.  You’ve not been taught to treat yourself as if you should be treated as a precious one. 

So, how to see the world, be honest with yourself, try to think of what responsibilities you have, which right now in the political realm it seems to me that so much is beyond your control.  

And yet, any spiritual work you are doing in a sense is a subversive act in terms of the political battle that is occurring.  So your pursuit of your own spirituality does not need to take you out of connection with reality. 

And as you strengthen and purify, you will create a different energy in your being. 

And that spreads to those with whom you have contact.  And the state that you achieve will connect you with others who you don’t know yet, who are on your same level.  

And you will feel easy and loving connections occurring for you increasingly as you follow your path in this way. 

So, a question is, how to provide responsibly to those in the external world and still save oneself?  

And this is an individual path for each of you, but nevertheless, it is a common path, because each of you must find out how to do it for yourselves. 

So, one piece is the interconnection.  Because so many of you look at yourself from without.  

You feel and experience yourself as what others expect of you or need from you.  You experience yourself as wanting to be needed, wanting to have a purpose which others can recognize.  

And this is all accurate in some measure, but it’s still the cart before the horse.  And it is still not knowing how to come from your own Self as your core place of reference, so that you can then make decisions best on giving the space for yourself to be. 

Now, this is perhaps nebulous, or perhaps something you already know, but you just don’t know how to do it.  

So, if this is the case, I do invite you to ask me specific questions about yourself.  And your self- exploration will probably shine a light on another’s or several other’s self-exploration in this way.  

Can you guide me a bit with questions that would help you? 

—I wish to know how to build these boundaries, so I can keep my heart open, and have that protection.  And the best way to release the feelings of guilt.  

I have such a pattern of always tuning into other people’s needs before my own, that I don’t even many times know what my own are.  

Can you guide me with some suggestions?— 

Yes, very good question.  A question that many understand for themselves.  

So, let me tune into your energy field quite specifically.  And then others can see how this works for them.  And then fine tune questions if it doesn’t meet their needs. 

So many people who become healers in whatever form they choose, do so because they have a sensitivity to others, which some simply do not possess.  And so you can sense the needs of others. 

And because your soul’s purpose being your orientation to helping, you have a very immediate response to trying to meet the needs that you see before you.  And you also have a sensitivity to pain.  

And you understand what it is to be in pain.  And you don’t wish to see someone in pain. 

Now, this doesn’t tell you what to do.  So I will counsel you to do processes on your own body, on your own energy field.  So that you become attuned to your flow.  

And so that you feel when it is strong and open, when it can receive, and when it can give back, and when it will be depleted by that process.  And know that sometimes you will need to err on that side.  

It will be difficult to have it perfect, at least for some time.  But if you truly begin to honor the space within you, and know that you must protect this at all costs, then this can guide you. 

You have to take yourself into account as well as the other person.  You must feel yourself to be more valuable than the other person, in terms of your stewardship of this body and this being. 

So, partly what will happen is that you will work with people who have a greater strength themselves.  Some of you are to be the healer of healers.  And some of you are ready for this shift in responsibility. 

And what it means is that the people you will work with will have a great deal of their own strength.  And yet you help them in their moments of change and growth.  Or their moments of being uncertain and low.

And therefore you heal a healer.  And then this healer goes into the world and can work with more people. 

In protecting yourself you will find those who you wish to work with, who in working with them you are more strengthened.  

And if you are not available to them in a particular moment, they have the strength to wait until you are ready to be with them. 

It’s a shift in who you are, to hold yourself as primary.  

Because if you do not care for the Sacredness of yourself, and fill yourself with the Sacredness of yourself, then you’re always weakening yourself.  And you keep yourself on a certain level of functioning. 

And when you care for this soul, and you say, “I’m needing rest now,” or, “Well, I can’t have rest now.  Then I will have rest later.  What gives me rest?  What truly nourishes me?”  

And then to take that, and make the commitment to give this to yourself in the time that you can do it.  As soon as you can do it. 

And change the balance of how often you give, give, give, to self nurturance and giving.  Self nurturance and giving from a place of strength.  Self nurturance and developing a wisdom which you can then use to create great transformation and great shift. 

You see, those of you who wish it, will have this tumultuous time as opportunity to ask for your highest purpose, to ask for your greatest ability to serve.  And then you don’t know where you’re going to go.  And so, you leave the door open. 

And of course, part of your self knowing will involve some time of surrender.  So that that wishing to come to you can come.  

And if you’re always tired, if you carry some heaviness, well, you have less ability to come comfortably from the place you can give the most.  Paradox. 

We are not asking you to be selfish.  But we are asking you to go to the place where you can give the best and the most that you are capable of giving.  

And it never comes at the sacrifice of you, never comes at the sacrifice of you.  Your self love will be a healing for others. 

And wherever you are in this issue of self love, feel your heart chakra.  

Then connect to the core of your being.  The core runs through your entire body, out of your head, down below your feet.  

This is the you of everyday in union with the you of all your past lives and future.  This is the place of you and the place of the Sacred, where those two meet.  

All of you experience various degrees of self-hatred and self-abandonment. 

Now, through your heart chakra, into this core of your being, I am making available to you an energy of love.  

The other guides who are here, all aligned with the Divine, will also bring a transcendent love, an unconditional love, a love which a healthy mother gives to her infant child as they gaze into one another’s eyes.  Purity of love.  

And we bring it to you on a scale of Spirit beings wishing only for your well being.  Your well being serves the world.  So bring this love that is available to you into your heart chakra. 

If your mind calls up all of the reasons why you shouldn’t have unconditional love.  Look at that and tell it to go away, that you release that thought.  You release that conditioning.  

If your sorrows tell you they are too big to receive love.  Tell them that they are only temporary, and they can fall away.  Because the core of your being exists long before those sorrows, long after those sorrows. 

And it is to this core that you commit to return again and again and again until it is continuously where you live from.  A place of wholeness.  A place of being full.  A place of knowing your own worth.  

Let everything which keeps you from sensing this fall away, critical mind, connection to sorrow.  

Give yourself this feeding now, that you can be stronger to go back into your lives. 

Know that those of us who, on this dimension, who listen to the prayers of humans, we feel greatly for the complexity and sorrow that you bear.  

You can balance those, and move through them to greater clarity and happiness, if you’ll receive the sweet, quiet, peaceful love which is your deepest self. 

Now, this is a warrior-ship to try to live from this place in a culture which denies its existence.  And so, you are brave. 

In any quiet moment which you come, retreat inwardly and say such prayers as, “I open to grace.  I surrender my struggles to my deeper purpose.  May my deeper purpose unfold before me in a timely manner, providing me with manageable challenges.  Sacred ones, guide my footsteps.  I see not my path.  Please guide my footsteps.” 

Know that your prayers are heard.  You align your intentions with the intention which benefits the good of all, and your path will become clear.  

For some you will need to dare to believe this.  And especially upon you, we shower you with our affection. 

To believe that you can transform yourself is a huge act of faith.  May you be met with signs on your path to let you know you are being met, to let you feel encouraged, to let you believe in the unfolding of yourself. 

Now, any of you who wish to release some of your impediments into the Earth.  You may silently say so.  

If you wish to release your disbelief that you can release impediments so easily, but you wish to release that belief, say so. 

Now, we have done some good work together.  But I am still open to questions which you might have. 

—Mistress Peony, I’m on a spiritual journey.  Can you give me guidance that can help me search out the places that I need to go?  Any messages that I need to seek?— 

I’m looking into your energy field to see where the answers are, because, of course, you carry those within you. 

Alright, when you are on your path, ask yourself always to reflect upon genuineness.  

Does something that you hear, teach you, if you read a book, if you contemplate going to a retreat, reflect to yourself, “Does this increase my genuineness?  Does this speak to my inner sincerity?” 

This will be one guidepost for you.  If it feels to you like it is a little more on the surface, you know, it might look good, but it might not speak to something clearer and deeper within you, then cast it away. 

And go for the one that speaks to you very deeply, the deeper you, the self who has such genuineness, such realness, and purity of intention.  

This is very important for you, for your path, purity of intention.  So assess your resources with this in mind, purity of intention. 

Let me see, something else for you.  

You will become one who can help others with a beautiful balance of masculine and feminine.  So, you are in harmony with your body and yourself.  

And yet, you are comfortable with understanding the feminine quality, with being adept at some of the feminine qualities such as being able to receive from Spirit.  Receptivity is a very feminine quality. 

And those who advance spiritually can be attuned in this way.  

And so, it requires knowing when and how to move outward in the world, and when and how to soften and be alertly receptive, relaxedly receptive.  

That’s where you will embody more richness.  

You will embody more variety than is often found in males in this culture.  Males have very often restrictive requirements. 

And so, you can look also for those things which balance or address issues of male/female balance, respect between the sexes, of understanding something about each of their gifts, and allowing those differences between them.  

And embodying a flexibility between those things, between those qualities. 

And this is very rare.  And this is very healing for others to see.  And ultimately it will be a healing course for you.  And eventually there will be some form of Medicine Man which you will be called to.  

So your path is not very conventional.  Perhaps initially conventional, but eventually not so conventional.  And it will be another blessing that you will give to yourself first, and then you will give to others.  So this is good, very good. 

Who else? 

—I wonder if I don’t find the connections with people that I want to because I am blind to the fact that people are there that might have spiritual interests, and I don’t see it. 

Or is it that I live and work and am in places where people aren’t as interested?— 

Let me see what is in your field.  

Well, I think very often you might surround yourself with people who are fairly intellectually oriented.  

And while there is nothing wrong with this, add to this in your feeling out of people, and seeking out of people, those who have a good heart.  So, those who are emotionally connected to themselves.  Those who are loving and soft.  

And they may not see these qualities as being spiritual qualities.  Some may, some may not.  Some may find those as they age. 

But for you to soften your world.  As I look into your energy field I see lines.  I see angles, and what will nurture you is more softness.  I would say for you, more female qualities in your life. 

So look at the friends around you, and look at people you are meeting, and see if your heart guides you.  

To not love somebody necessarily, but just your heart says, “Oh, she feels good to me.”  Or, “She feels sweet.  She feels soft.  Oh, he feels soft.”  Or deeper like, “Oh, she seems to have emotional balance. She seems to have a happy disposition.” 

Look for qualities which nurture you in that dimension, because you are seeking greater balance within yourself.  And so, as you find new friendships which provide you with that softness, then that part of you can develop also. 

It’s a very clear part of you, a very clear part of who you are, a sweetness, a softness, a genuineness, a willingness to share truly who you are, not appearances. 

So, sometimes when young people are very strong intellectually, they get confused that appearance of who they project is really themselves.  And it’s not themselves really. 

And you now are quite ready for more genuineness.  You are quite ready for more other, healthier emotions, where emotions are more tactile, and they are fluid, and they come, and then they go. 

And then the richness there, which you have within you as part of who you are, but you were not encouraged to live that or to trust that.  

Is there any other question which follows? 

—Well, I know that I have difficulty with trusting myself.  I have trouble trusting people if I do see that softness.  Or do I see what I want, what I know I’m drawn to?— 

Do you trust yourself in what you are seeing?  Or you don’t trust that they are genuine or healthy? 

—I’m not entirely sure which.— 

Okay, so the only thing to do then is go to your core.  Feel your core to the maximum that you are able, and it will just grow.  The more you pay attention to it the more it will grow.  

Go to your core and say, “I receive.  I accept guidance now.  I’m unsure.”  And have emptiness. 

And then allow a sense to emerge from the emptiness.  And keep playing with this.  

You will learn to have it guide you in all your life.  And all you are doing is making the space within yourself to relate to yourself, and hear your own answers.  

And if you make a mistake, be absolutely loving to yourself in response.  No blaming.  

So it’s a process of experimentation.  Open a space within.  Call upon your core.  And open to receiving input, and open to hearing your knowing.  

And sometimes answers will come, and sometimes they won’t. 

And experiment a little bit lightly.  And let yourself flow.  You can always say, “Thank you.  I got to know you a little bit, and I’m going home now.” 

Someone else? 

—Mistress Peony, I’m not sure what my question is, but it has to do with how emotional I am.  I’ve questioned for a lot of my life, what does it mean?— 

Well, you carry a sorrow very intimately in your being.  And you know your history, and you know some of your in-utero experience.  You have done some healing with this.  

Your twin is departed, and yet you hold some sorrow which is so deeply known to you. 

When you have a consciousness in-utero which is so impactful, how does one remove it from the energy field?  It’s very integrated into the energy field.  

So we must then say, “What is the gift of this?”  That you can receive the gift of this experience, and then release any of it which no longer serves you. 

So that you can be freer.  And you can be more able to embrace a joy and creativity of yourself.  So this might take the form of some healing work still. 

And knowing that your great, sweet heart is part of the gift which you hold.  You have a very beautiful heart.  And it is very courageous and determined and strong.  

And so, what you must know is that this is you.  And this will not be lost if you lose from the rest of your energy field some of the knowing of how much love can pain.  

One of the paradoxes of life and existence.  Love can cause great pain.  Because we lose those we love, or those we love are hurt, and it causes us pain.  

So what you can work on is that your heart is you.  The aspect of you which is like a lion’s heart will not be lost by losing some of the sorrow which was part of the growing of your heart. 

And another aspect of this is more practical.  Another aspect of this is simply taking adequate care of yourself.  

Placing yourself in a position of honor.  Requiring this of every one of your family members, that you’re honored.  You’re honored for who you are.  You’re honored for what you do in the service of everyone.  

That everyone must see what you give and appreciate it.  And then you will not have a secondary reason to carry a great deal of sorrow in feeling that you are not. 

All that you give is expected and not sufficiently appreciated.  This creates another sorrowing which you have a capacity to carry, because of this earlier sorrowing. 

You have capacity.  You are strong, very strong.  And yet, what could this strength be used for if not simply survival? 

A big agenda, and everyone who chooses to, who seeks guidance, will have these big agendas coming.  But each different, each is unique to each one of you. 

—Mistress Peony, can you speak to my yearning to move out into the world in a global way, and still raising a 13 year old son and providing security?— 

I think what you seek is a path which will draw you into your true self, and the path that is before you has aspects that seem to contradict other aspects. 

And so, it is for you to say, “What is my Sacred responsibility?”  And to integrate the things that seem disparate.  So that you never abandon what you might term as Sacred responsibility such as parenting.  

And this will sometimes require sacrifice of you, but the sacrifice will bring you to greater genuineness within yourself.  So, all in time, and all with the correct inner guidance.  

We can guide ourselves from many different aspects of our being.  And many aspects of our being will get us into trouble.  Many aspects of our being will take us to a path which is not as true and significant as what our soul’s intention truly is. 

So I would reflect for you to ask you to reflect on integration of yourself, and coming from a deep place.  Which I know that you do.  

And I know that you seek to go inward and to say, “What is the proper course?”  And this, I say, is what I encourage you to continue to do.  “What is the proper course?” 

Try to come from your deepest place of core self.  So that your guidance is from your deepest place of core self, your self guidance.  And then you will choose the opportunities that nurture that aspect of you. 

Does this make sense to you?

—Yes it does.—